Dark Hadou

The darkness is overtaking me.

I wake up in the middle of the night with sweat trickling over my brow.
I wake up wailing in agony as I feel unfathomable misery growing inside of me from an untracable source.

The darkness seems darker.
The pain grows stronger.
The hate swells larger.
The fires of anger rage hotter.

All feels lost as I fall uncontrollably into an endles abyss inside my own heart.

The shadows close in on me.
The demons tear at my skin desiring my body to take as their own.

I wake up knowing that nothing less than evil its self dwells in my home.
It has plans for me.
It has holds on me from which escape seems impossible.

I wake up, but wonder which reality is real.
Is it he one where I succumb to the power & allow what is inside me to do as it will?
Is it the one where I pretend that it doesn't exist & continue to live a lie, knowing that lies are evil as well, and therefore fuel for this titanic beast?

I wake up, wondering, which one I should CHOOSE to be my reality?  If it is my own choice.
Should I deny my heart & live until the end of my days as a pretender, always desiring something else, but never pursuing that path, or should I let got & lose control, dying with the regrets of what I have done & may yet do?

I wake up, and I feel it puling me down & I know that it is the wrong path, but the right path hurts me even still.
Neither seems right or wrong anymore.
Both seem dark, lonely, and painful.

I wake up, lost, powerless, tortured between the two.
The light is fading & the darkness growing.
Where am I through all of this?
I do not know.
Am I really fighting darkness in my own heart, or am I the darkness?

I wake up, or do I?